Bully- my response to recent events in Minnesota.

After hearing the story of Rachel of Mantorville, Minnesota and reading the Rolling Stone article, ” One Town’s War on Gay Teens”  I cannot imagine what it would be like to grow up right now. I can not imagine finding a text message that calls me a slut or being called a fat dyke to my face and what it would feel like to endure that every single day. My deepest sympathies go out to her family and anyone that has lost someone due to the words and actions of others.

As you can tell, most of my posts are lighthearted, silly, and fun… this one is not quite like that.  Bullying is a topic that I feel passionately about. I have witnessed first-hand the damage that words can do over a lifetime. Bullying is also completely preventable and hinders a feeling of community. After all, my goal with my blog is to bring people together.

I am not going to try and explain nor give a reason why I think that this is happening. But, only offer hope and advice to those who are being bullied, it does get better. There is no age that I can pin point or event in my life that I can say at that exact moment it got better, it did. Some days are good others are not and there will always be people out there that want to tear you down instead of build you up. Some weeks that turn into months feels like everyone wants to tear you down. Keep your head up. One day you will want to smile and going through those days/weeks/months are worth it for that one smile.

I found it is easier to get past the words and actions of others when I am authentically and truly myself. Don’t apologize, you are you and the real you will find people who make life enjoyable and fun, you will attract them. It doesn’t happen right away and the best way to find new people who love the true you is to try something new, take a class, join a group, and find something that makes you happy. Make your own fun.  People love people who love themselves.

Not all adults get it. They don’t understand anymore how it feels to feel the way you do. But, they all want to help you and make it better even if they don’t know what to do and don’t always do the right thing. It is scary for them too. There are some adults that do get it. Seek them out, these adults will be people you will look up to for the rest of your life.

Do your best to surround yourself with people who are kind and love you for who you are. Those are the people that I leaned on when I needed a pick me up. They will be there when you need them. When I was younger, these people who became my best friends did not always do what was kind but they did care about me. Now I couldn’t and wouldn’t replace them. I also hurt them. You get older and learn what being a friend means, and still you will make mistakes, but when it really matters they will be there for you and you will be there for them, for the highs and lows.

I wish I could tell you that bullying ends and that bully’s grow out of it, but they don’t and it doesn’t. As you get older it takes on new forms and they still create feelings of inadequacy. People can be cruel. But, once you are older you will have found ways to deal with these situations and although it hurts, you are smart enough to come up with a solution or smart enough to know to go to someone else for help. Get a mentor, find someone to look up to, because you will always need advice about something.

Life is really hard but it can also be very rewarding, give it a chance. It gets better.

One day you will be fabulous, even if today you don’t feel that way. Keep your head up, make your own fun, and be you.

Because there is only one you in this universe.

@mplsgossipgirl

Let me know what you think. Leave me comments or email me at mplsgossipgirl@gmail.com